Most people think confidence is the result of success.
It’s not.
If that were true, senior professionals wouldn’t struggle with self-doubt.
But I promise you, they do.
I’ve coached:
➔ The accomplished VP who hesitates before speaking in the boardroom
➔ The experienced strategist who second-guesses their gravitas and influence
➔ The newly-promoted leader-in-waiting who feels more uncertain than ever now
Because confidence isn’t the result of success. It’s the result of self-trust.
And when that trust is missing?
Confidence feels conditional.
Like something that comes and goes – entirely dependent on your last win or wobble.
The Problem With ‘Fake It Till You Make It’
You’ve heard it before.
Smile. Push through. Fake it.
Except… that doesn’t work.
Because confidence isn’t pretending.
It’s not performance.
It’s not about covering your doubts to look the part.
Faking confidence only builds dissonance.
Your brain registers the mismatch between what you say and how you actually feel.
And that inner disconnect? It doesn’t build trust. It erodes it.
So instead of faking confidence, I help clients recalibrate it.
How to Rebuild Confidence From the Inside Out
➔ Shift from performance confidence → to leadership confidence
Performance confidence is rooted in mastery—being skilled, certain, and right.
Leadership confidence is different in important ways.
It’s trusting yourself when there’s ambiguity. Leading when there’s no clear answer.
If you’ve just been promoted from leader-in-waiting to leader and feel less confident than ever?
It’s not that you’re not capable.
It’s that you’ve moved into a space where certainty isn’t available.
Ask yourself:
Do I trust myself to navigate uncertainty—or am I waiting to feel ready?
➔ Separate self-worth from certainty
The higher you go, the less certainty you have.
If confidence depends on knowing everything, you’ll always feel like you’re falling short.
Strong leaders aren’t confident because they have all the answers.
They’re confident because they know how to move forward without them.
Ask yourself:
Am I measuring confidence by what I know—or by how well I adapt?
➔ Reframe self-doubt as growth-readiness
Self-doubt isn’t always a red flag.
Sometimes, it’s a healthy signal that you’re stretching yourself and employing strategic thought.
If you never experience doubt, you’re likely not growing.
The goal isn’t to eliminate it.
It’s to understand it.
To use it as insight, not indictment.
Ask yourself:
Is this self-doubt a sign I’m in the wrong place…or a sign I’m expanding into the right one?
Confidence isn’t a fixed trait.
It’s a muscle—one you can build and strengthen with practice.
And the kind of confidence that lasts?
It’s not rooted in external validation.
It’s rooted in self-trust.
So if you’ve been waiting to feel more ready or more certain before you act…
you might be waiting forever.
The better question to ask now?
What would change if you trusted yourself to lead – even when you don’t feel ready yet?
