It happens quietly.
You grow good at what you do. And noticed for it.
Opportunities appear.
Responsibilities grow.
And before you know it, you’re moving through your fast-paced days on autopilot.
Meeting deadlines.
Hitting targets.
Responding.
Always.
But you’re not steering the ship.
It’s like waking up one morning and realising: you’ve been asleep at the wheel… sleepwalking through life, not leading it.
Why This Happens More Than We Admit
When I talk to clients about how they got here, the pattern is almost always the same.
They didn’t sit down one day and decide their career – or life – would look this way.
It evolved around them somehow.
One “yes” at a time.
A project they were tapped for.
A promotion they accepted because it was “the next step”.
A relocation that made sense taken overall… given other priorities. Each decision made sense in the moment.
But slowly, they stopped asking the most important question:
“Is this still what I want?”
And it feels too complicated to answer.
It’s a quiet but dangerous drift – and it’s one of the biggest reasons capable, intelligent people find themselves feeling stuck, restless, or quietly dissatisfied… even when, on the surface, everything looks fine.
The Cost of Sleepwalking in Leadership and Life
Sleepwalking feels safe.
It’s familiar.
Predictable.
Probably comfortable, if not calm.
But it comes with a hidden cost.
When you’re not consciously choosing your own direction, you:
- Let other people’s priorities set you on your path
- Say “yes” when you really mean “I’m not sure”
- Delay the changes you know you need to make
And the longer you sleepwalk like that, the greater the risk you’ll wake up one day realising you’ve built a life that works… but not for you.
What Leading Your Life Really Means
Leading your life isn’t about letting everything combust. That would be a nightmare of your own creation.
It’s about choosing what matters most – and aligning your time, energy, and attention with it.
It’s shifting from:
- Reactive → Intentional
- “How do I get through this week?” → “Where am I heading, and why?”
In practice, it looks like:
- Slowing down long enough to ask the bigger questions
- Making decisions from values, and building habits that support them
- Being willing to say no — even when yes would be easier in the moment
3 Ways To Wake Up and Lead
You don’t have to hatch a dramatic escape plan to take the wheel again.
Here’s how to get out of the passenger seat.
Start small.
Start here.
1. Audit Your Autopilot
Look at your current commitments – work, relationships, routines and the energy gains and drains from all of them. Honestly.
Ask:
- “What’s genuinely important to me here?”
- “What am I doing just because I’ve always done it?”
You can’t change what you don’t see.
Awareness is how you wake up your wanting and curate choices.
2. Define Your Direction
If you don’t know where you’re heading, any road will take you there.
Design a clear, compelling picture of where you want to be in 6–12 months – in your work, your relationships. And how you actually feel in relation to them.
This isn’t about perfect planning.
It’s about creating a compass you can steer by, even when the path bends.
3. Take One Bold Step
Waiting until you “have time” or “feel ready” is how we stay stuck.
Leading your life means moving before you feel 100% prepared.
Choose one action – a conversation, a boundary, a decision – that realigns with your direction, and take it this week.
Momentum only ever comes from movement, not from thinking about movement.
The Leadership Mindset … For Your Own Life
You don’t have to run a team or a business to be a leader.
The first place you lead is definitely yourself.
When you stop sleepwalking, you start making conscious choices – then notice them ripple into your work, your relationships, your fulfilment, you know you’re not sleepwalking any more.
It’s not about having it all figured out.
It’s about showing up awake, aware, and willing to back yourself … every day.
Act on this today:
Before tomorrow begins, take 15 minutes to write down:
- Where am I on autopilot right now?
- What matters most to me this year?
- What’s one step I could take to move toward it?
Small, deliberate actions are how you go from sleepwalking to leading.
And if you’re ready to get clear on what’s holding you in hesitation while you sleepwalk, take the ACT Quiz – it will help you see exactly where you’re stuck, and the shift you need to wake up and start steering again.
