I worked with a lovely leader recently.
She’d started in her company when it was small – and her role had grown into one of the most agile career stories I’ve come across.
And she absolutely loved working there – had close working relationships, a lifestyle really, and appreciated the culture, the purposeful nature of her work and the opportunity for growth.
But somewhere along the way, she became integral to too many operational layers.
She ran the books.
Recruited the team.
Stepped in to present when there was a gap to fill.
Hovered over marketing despite knowing she didn’t love it.
By the time we met, she was over-investing and numb.
Overwhelmed. Confidence had eroded.
She felt hopeless, even.
She told me:
“I’m so lucky here. I’ve loved it. I don’t know how to get my energy back.”
And that’s when I knew what was really going on.
She wasn’t missing motivation.
She was over-functioning her worth – and recognising she couldn’t keep growing at the same pace there meant leaving.
Which triggered fear.
Somewhere along the line, determination had turned into self-erasure and sparked risk.
When Delivering Becomes a Distraction
What started as purpose had blurred into performance.
She wasn’t chasing growth anymore – she was chasing proof.
Using what she found to decide whether to use grit… or quit.
And here’s the thing:
When you’re determined to deliver at all costs, you stop leading with purpose – and start labouring without any.
You reduce your impact to a safety net.
The fixer.
The one who habitually holds things together – until there’s nothing left of you to hold.
The research backs it up.
In organisational psychology, this has a name: role engulfment – when your professional identity expands so far, it consumes the rest of who you are.
And paradoxically, performance suffers because clarity and purpose disappears.
The Leadership Reframe
When we slowed things down in coaching, something shifted.
She realised she didn’t need to do less or leave necessarily – she needed to lead differently.
And that began as an inside job.
→ Pause long enough to notice what’s yours to hold.
→ Ask where you’re adding value – and where you’re cushioning others.
→ Lead with purpose, not just for pace.
When she finally did, her team stepped forward to support her.
Not because she delegated better.
But because she’d stopped over-delivering on everyone else’s behalf.
She advocated stepping into a lateral leadership role – one that put her closer to making a direct difference to the client base.
Inner Leadership Is The Most Important Leadership
That’s today’s truth bomb:
Sometimes the hardest leadership work is the work you do with yourself.
Re-anchoring to purpose.
Redefining success so you can pursue it.
Choosing realignment over achieving more and more of the same.
When leaders do that, their whole ecosystem recalibrates – culture, energy, trust.
Because purpose is contagious.
And exhaustion is too.
Your Leadership Reframe
→ Purpose and pace aren’t the same thing.
→ Emotional intelligence isn’t rescuing everyone – it’s recognising your limits.
→ Stepping back isn’t retreat — it’s important leadership range.
This is the work I do with leaders who’ve built successful career stories – but want (and need) to love them again.
If you’re ready to lead with more clarity, energy and purpose – let’s talk.
And if you’re watching a valued team member disengage as they deliver, let’s talk about that too.
